Pharrell Williams - G I R L Album Review

I actually had hoped that I would like this record. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out that way. Look, I get it Pharrell, you need to keep the hype going. But if you really want constant hype, don't put out a record like this - the buzz is going to die out even quicker. Ultimately, this LP is lackluster all around. A couple good tracks - "Gush" is a nice and detailed production, and "Know Who You Are" which has a really nice verse/chorus from Alicia Keys is an above average song. Also nice to hear Jojo still exists, she's on the back half of "Lost Queen." I've always liked her voice.

Other than these few bright spots, this album doesn't cut it, even for a retro-disco-pop LP. It's clear to me that Pharrell put this album out so that he wouldn't be too quickly forgotten after the success of some really good music he co-wrote in 2013: "Get Lucky" and "Blurred Lines." He even has Miley Cyrus on a track. What says "please don't forget me" more than Miley Cyrus these days? Sure, the production quality of G I R L is at the “spared no expense” level. But the music is just so-so, there is nothing memorable about any of the songs except the strings which were arranged by Hans Zimmer - again, "spared no expense." The lyrics, likewise, are all either totally forgettable or cringeworthy. Literally no lines catch my ear in a good way. Only in a bad way. I mean, on the track "Hunter," Pharrell literally sings, “duck dynasty is cool and all/but they got nothing on a female’s call" - Are You Fucking Serious?! And the song "Happy" really sucks. "Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth." Really? Happiness and the truth of the world almost never coincide, at all. Slaughterhouses, wars, genocides, famines, growing proletariat class, slavery, are all on the upturn and we're singing that lyric? The concept of happiness is ideology at its purist. So no, I'm not clapping my hands.

I’m going to have to clean my ears out with some Jamiroquai and Holy Ghost! after this album. Seriously, this whole record sounds like a bunch of half-assery. Like a 7th grade girl at a high school dance, you'll cheer the first thirty seconds of every song and dance a bit, but then quickly leave the dance floor in shame. Go listen to some Earth, Wind, and Fire or Tower of Power or Holy Ghost! or LCD Soundsystem or Justin Timberlake or Jamiroquai or countless other awesome musicians that make dance-y, groovy music that is way better than this. Don't waste your time. I especially rate this album low because above all it is a disappointment - Pharrell has made some really great music with the Neptunes, N.E.R.D., etc. in the past. This album is, contrarily, far from great.

Hits: "Gush," "Know Who You Are"

Misses: "Marilyn Monroe," "Hunter," "Happy," "Come Get it Bae," "It Girl"

4/10